Partly Cloudy, 64°
With the numerous winter storms descending on Providence this winter, the Department of Public Safety's segway unit has been forced to switch from their beloved quasi-scooters to tauntauns. [Note: Tauntauns are the dinosaur-mammal creatures on Hoth that the Rebels ride in Star Wars Episode V.] DPS Chief Micky McDougal explains the change as "a necessity" given the snowy weather. "The tauntauns have better traction than the segways. Plus, if one of our officers gets caught in a snowstorm and his tauntaun dies, the creature can be used as insulation," McDougal joked. [Note: Han Solo saved Luke Skywalker's life by cutting open his dead tauntaun and stuffing Luke inside for warmth.]
The tauntaun stables reek from the stench of the creatures, but McDougal insists that while their smell can be a deterrent, the beasts are actually very gentle and officers have taken a liking to them. "At first I thought the chief was joking, but apparently these things are real," remarked one officer who was grooming his steed. He added, "Mine is called 'Macoute.'" [Note: This is a pun on the word "tauntaun." The Tonton Macoutes were the secret police in Haiti that arrested and killed political dissidents. A good example of dark humor.]
The creatures themselves are quite large and have large horns, not unlike a goat's. [Note: A goat is a mammal with horns.] Once a proud, majestic species, their numbers have dwindled as poachers have killed off many of Hoth's tauntaun populations for their skins and horns. With tauntaun-skin coats being all the rage for the past several winters, Brown launched a conservation effort, the first stage of which is the integration of the creatures into DPS's ranks. [Note: A coat is a garment worn for warmth that covers the wearer's torso.] Future steps, such as repopulating the creatures and pushing for more anti-poaching legislation, are among Brown's long-term goals to help the tauntaun avoid a fate like that of the American Buffalo. [Note: The buffalo is a cow-like creature that roamed the Great Plains before being hunted to the verge of extinction for its delicious wing-meat.]
[Note on the notes: The author really hopes these notes help the reader better understand this piece. These are rare creatures, so not many people are well acquainted with them and a lot of extra explanation may be needed to better understand the piece as a whole. The author hopes these notes help to both explain the piece and enhance the reader's cultural understanding, leaving the reader with a sense of knowing a little bit more than he or she did before.]
The only question that remains is what the University plans to do with the creatures during the summer months. When asked, McDougal quipped, "I guess we'll have to either move them or eat them." [Note: Tauntauns are kosher.]
